Day 14: Feeling a little better...and worse.

Day 14. I finally had another good loss after a slow weekend. I really focused yesterday on eating right and drinking lots of water. Then, yesterday during an afternoon of sportsball watching (IU bball and both playoff games) I also did a lot of reading on an forum I found. There were probably equal amounts of people that were doing this program successfully and people who, once they stopped the hardcore part, gained all their weight back. I know forums are a beast of all their own, but it was interesting, and humbling to read. I've been spending a lot of time in prayer about this diet; if it's the right thing for me and if it is something that I should continue. It's not just that I spent money on it; I want to do what is right and what is healthy for my body.

I don't see how what I'm eating is bad for me at all. The amounts, maybe. But I look at my plate and I'm honestly getting a good amount of food. It's just low calorie food! Sure, I could have more protein or maybe a big salad instead of just spinach, but still, I'm getting good food. I can't help it if the 2 cups of spinach I had for dinner last night with my hotsauce chicken and strawberries was only 20 calories. For 2 cups! That's a lot of spinach!

Not explaining the diet, just telling people I am cutting carbs and sugars from my diet, and I get so much "oh, you'll fail." "That will never work." "The second you eat anything you've been ignoring, you'll gain it all back." I hear very little good for you, I bet that's good for your body, etc. I'm a little frustrated that so many people seem to know I am going to fail. That's different than the friends that are just worried that this is too extreme. It's the people that expect me to fail. I've always been the fat girl; I will always be the fat girl.

And, apparently this blog is my form of therapy during this whole process. Because, here's the thing. Will I eat pizza again? Heck, yes. Will I eat pasta? Sure. Will I enjoy Olive Garden on the rare day? Yup. But, I want to change how I eat. I want to change how I think about food. I want to reach for an apple when I'm craving a sweet snack instead of chocolate. I want this to be about jumpstarting a lifestyle change. I have no plans to go back to my lots of fast food, lots of high fat, high carb ways. I want this to be the beginning of something new.

I always saw this as a jumpstart. A way to get my body used to eating. And a way to get through detox without cheating. This is not the end of my weightloss journey; it's only the beginning. I refuse to be one of those people who does this "crash" diet and then immediately gains everything back. I will have days where I eat a lot of calories and enjoy it. And then I will have days when I eat fruits and veggies and nuts and enjoy that.

I just want more people to believe in me. And less people to think I'm a failure before I've really begun. I guess that's why my friend didn't tell anyone what she was doing; she didn't want to deal with the naysayers.Sometimes I wish I would have kept my mouth shut, too!