Real Food is Yum

Yesterday was a scary day for me in a lot of ways. I went out to eat. It was awesome. I incorporated more food back into my diet. It was awesome. I was terrified I would be up 3 lbs on the scale this morning. Mentally I expected that. I had stuffed mushrooms. I had Parmesan chicken. I had salad with cheese. I had sweet potato tots. I had a lot of food. Over 1200 calories.

I also did my Jillian Michaels DVD for the first time in probably a year. I would say I made it through 93% of it. Why do these things always start with push ups? I am such a weakling.

Anyway, I stepped on the scale this morning. And was down. .2 but I was down. I broke through another barrier. I got my t-shirt I've been wanting. I hit my second goal. On phase 3. I know there will still be a lot of ups and downs on this process, but I am a happy girl this morning.

I also made some great egg/ham/cheese muffins for breakfast this week. I did the math and they are 65 calories each. A serving is 2. So for breakfast I had two of those and 6 ounces of pure cranberry juice. I am a happy Emily today.

Here is the recipe:
6 eggs
2 egg whites
1/4 cup milk
1/2 cup diced ham
1/2 cup shredded cheddar
salt & pepper to taste.

Blend eggs and milk and set aside. Spray a 12 count muffin tin with pam or oil to keep eggs from sticking (this only 1/2 worked for me). Add ham and cheese in even amounts to the bottom of each muffin. Cover with egg mixture until 2/3 full.

Bake at 350 for 15-20 minutes or until a toothpick in the middle of each comes out clean. Let sit in the muffin tin for 5 minutes. Remove and enjoy!

Next time I will add more veggies and maybe some hot sauce to the top. I have breakfasts now for the next 6 days! YAY!

Day 31: Six pounds. Nine days. Let's do this.

High protein day yesterday was a success! Now, if only I had done that on Monday :) Still not the huge weight loss that I wanted, but I think I broke through my set weight. I hope so, anyway. Tomorrow will be the big test...as long as the scale keeps moving DOWN, I'm good. Back on program today. I'm not hungry at all anymore, so I actually have to remind myself to eat :) Which is a strange, but very good, thing.

I would really REALLY REALLY like to lose 6 more pounds before this phase ends. That means I have to lose about a half a pound a day through the end of this phase. That sounds like a lot, but it's totally doable. I woke up this morning determined to get that blasted T-shirt that has sat, wrapped, on top of my dresser for 18 months. I WILL be wearing it in 9 days. I believe in myself. It helps that I have some awesome readers who also believe in me :)

I made some tomato soup the other night. It was super tasty, AND diet friendly:

2 Cups vegetable broth I used organic stock because it had less calories
2 Cups fresh to tomatoes, diced and seeded
2 T garlic, minced
2 t garlic powder
5-6 basil leaves
oregano, marjoram, salt and pepper to taste

Blend everything together until smooth. Put in soup pot and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and let simmer for 20 minutes. Garnish with fresh basil. Makes two 1 cup servings. Counts as a vegetable serving.

It was warm and yummy. I made Tim tomato soup out of a can that night. I think I liked mine better :)

Day 25! Another Milestone

20 lbs. I've effectively lost a toddler off my body in the last month. That's INSANE.

I'm excited to see what the next 15 days hold. As much as I'm ready to be done with this, I'm also hoping to lost at least 10 more pounds over the next 15 days. As slow as this week has gone, I know that will be a struggle, but I'm hopeful. 30 lbs would be huge. I think I could almost fit in the dress I want to wear for Easter at 30 lbs.

I'm excited and a little nervous about this weekend. The possibility of snow means I'm heading to Cincy tonight see Liz. So, instead of just one or two meals to figure out while gone, I'm up to a full day/day and a half. I've packed some stuff up, though, and I know Liz is also losing weight, so hopefully we can keep each other healthy. I am planning on enjoying some Chipotle either tonight or tomorrow night, though. And I'm okay with that. It's relatively healthy, and I need to learn to live with this weight loss, not hide from life because of it!

So, it's going to be a good weekend. I can tell already!

I probably won't be able to blog as much, but I'll try and stick something up. I also don't know how similar Liz and I's scales are, so that could be interesting...

Love you all!

PS: Here is me, 20 lbs lighter. I did a mud run back last April. I was too heavy to wear this shirt. This is the first time I've been able to wear it. Still a long way to go, but this feels good!

(and this is also the first mirror/camera shot I've ever taken)

 

Day 24: Hard to keep track of the days

First of all, I made a great dinner last night: chicken, garlic, orange segments, ginger, lemon juice. Saute it all and let it sit covered for about 20 minutes on low. I put it on a bed of Boston lettuce (okay, life half a head of Boston lettuce) with some Bragg's Amino Acids on it. Yummy, warm and filling. I think that is part of what I've been missing on this diet - I haven't been cooking and experimenting like I would like!

I'm in a comfortable routine at this point. Get up, weigh in, go to work, drink coffee, lunch, work, dinner, relax. I'm not doing a whole lot, but it's fine. When I first started this, i thought blogging every day would be easy. The reality is, though, there's just not a lot to say from one day to the next.  I am so excited to see Liz on Saturday and to hang out with my small group friends on Sunday. I am a little nervous what being way off schedule will do to my diet and weight loss, but it's fine.

There are foods I miss, but I'm actually excited that this is my new lifestyle. I'm looking forward to some little splurges here and there, but mostly I'm happy with the food I'm eating and I'm happy with the way I'm approaching food. I'm looking forward to eating more, and adding more dairy and fat to my diet, but it's all good.

I've lost 19 lbs. I would love to lose another pound before tomorrow, but my weight loss has slowed down a lot this week. Four weeks in, and I guess I shouldn't be surprised. But boo to slowing down!

Day 21: Recovery Feels Grand

Day 21.

If I was on the shorter program, I would be just a few days away from moving on to the next Phase and reintroducing some of my favorite foods to the diet. I've been going crazy on Pinterest lately pinning yummy recipes that (I think) will be lifestyle appropriate for the rest of my life. I do miss my carbs, but not like I thought I would. I feel good. I feel healthier than I've felt in years. I do miss the ease and convenience of picking up a sandwich when I'm pooped from cooking and cleaning. Mostly I miss hot foods. I feel like I don't have enough of a choice when it comes to warm, yummy food. I'm sure there are recipes out there that I could find to make Phase 2 more enjoyable. And, since I still have 19 days left of this, it might be time to find some of those recipes. I think I'll risk adding some cauliflower to my diet this week and see what that does. Apparently most people don't have problems adding it at this stage.

I'm now just a couple pounds away from where I was when I got married. Hard to believe. It's taken over 6 years to get back to it. I've gained and lost and gained and lost for a long time. Breaking through my next goal (in just 8.8 lbs) will put me just a few pounds away from where I was when Tim and I started dating. That's crazy.

I don't feel like my body is changing all that much, still. I guess it is because I see myself every day. But, who knows. I'm getting anxious to work out more. I want to do crunches and sit ups and even my silly Wii Fit. I haven't been getting enough exercise these last few weeks (frigid temps don't help), and I'm ready to get active again.

I found some Hansen's fruit punch to flavor water this week. It's sweetened with Stevia, which is the approved sweetener for this phase, so I'm hoping it won't affect weight loss. I also bought a 6 pack of black cherry Zevia, which is a soda-like drink. I'm hoping it will take the edge off wanting a diet coke!

Day 18: Ugh!

I'm .2 away from my first goal. .2! That could be anything!!! I kept stepping on the scale just to see if I could magically get that last .2 to go away, but no luck. So, hopefully tomorrow. I guess it's just good incentive to be really good today and hope that tomorrow is another big day!

But, still. UGH!

I did my measurements for the third time last night. To-date I've lost 10 inches off various parts of my body (3.5 waist, 4.2 chest, 1.3, thigh, 1 arm), which is crazy to me. My clothes are starting to feel a little looser. I'm hoping another 10 lbs and I'll really notice the difference.

Yesterday was the first day someone other than Tim noticed I was losing weight. YAY for that.

I'm nervous about tomorrow. We are going to an Eagle watch (in the bitter cold) and then Tim wants to eat at a BBQ restaurant in Terre Haute. I so want him to still be enjoying everything, but I just don't know that there is anything there that I can eat. So, I'm thinking I will pack some strawberries and chicken and just eat that while he eats tempting, mouth-watering yummy food. He did say we could skip the pie factory this time.

One of the hardest parts of this has been balancing wanting to make sure he's happy and enjoying dinners, etc and my discipline. This is, by far, the most disciplined I've ever been on a diet. I think I'm just scared to cheat, because if I cheat I know I'll cheat again. I'm 18 days into this crazy thing and there are still SOOO many days to go. I haven't had a gain, yet. I had three days of close to stalling last week. But I didn't cheat, even though I wanted to.

I do miss family dinners. I miss eating with my husband and just that time together. I know it's all temporary, but temporary feels like forever right now!

I am so excited to get to phase 3. There are so many recipes I've found that I want to try; so many yummy things to eat and plan and enjoy. It's amazing what adding more fruits and some cheese to my diet is going to do for me. I'm still anxious to be able to eat cereal again. Is that phase 4?

Day 17: The Mental Block

I think there comes a point in every diet, lifestyle change, whatever you call it, where it becomes mind over matter. I am not particularly craving anything, other than peppermint, because I LOVE peppermint. I am enjoying my fruit, veggies and even didn't hate the Tilapia I made for dinner last night. Things are going great.

Here is where the discipline comes in: I want to snack. I want just a bit of this and a bit of that. I'm a little hungry, but more than that, I just like to have a piece of candy or a roll with dinner. That has been the harder part of this process this week. I'm getting used to the diet, but I want the social stuff to be normal. Two days in a row of lunchtime appointments have me stressed and frustrated because I want to share in meals with friends without telling the whole world that I'm on a diet. I look to next weekend and know I will have a hard weekend of hanging out with a friend, doing a Super Bowl party, etc. Lots of temptations in lots of places. I hope I'm strong enough to stay on target!

And, quite frankly, I do miss eating out some. I like the eating out experience a lot. I know we're saving a ton of money, but having someone else prepare and clean up a meal sounds divine right now!

In other news, I lost my 15th lb today.
I'm .8 from my first goal. After that, I have several other goals to reach. 
I'm 11.8 from a t-shirt Tim bought me a year ago that was a weight loss gift (that never took off). 
I'm 21.8 from a DVD that's been waiting for me as another gift for over a year.
I'm 28.8 from the thinnest I've been in my adult life.

It all still seems so overwhelming to me, but I have to think of how far I've come! I would love to at least hit that T-shirt goal before this phase of the diet is over. Right now I'm more than on pace to do that. I'm less than halfway through the phase (if I do the full 40 days).

Here's to hoping!

Day 14: Feeling a little better...and worse.

Day 14. I finally had another good loss after a slow weekend. I really focused yesterday on eating right and drinking lots of water. Then, yesterday during an afternoon of sportsball watching (IU bball and both playoff games) I also did a lot of reading on an forum I found. There were probably equal amounts of people that were doing this program successfully and people who, once they stopped the hardcore part, gained all their weight back. I know forums are a beast of all their own, but it was interesting, and humbling to read. I've been spending a lot of time in prayer about this diet; if it's the right thing for me and if it is something that I should continue. It's not just that I spent money on it; I want to do what is right and what is healthy for my body.

I don't see how what I'm eating is bad for me at all. The amounts, maybe. But I look at my plate and I'm honestly getting a good amount of food. It's just low calorie food! Sure, I could have more protein or maybe a big salad instead of just spinach, but still, I'm getting good food. I can't help it if the 2 cups of spinach I had for dinner last night with my hotsauce chicken and strawberries was only 20 calories. For 2 cups! That's a lot of spinach!

Not explaining the diet, just telling people I am cutting carbs and sugars from my diet, and I get so much "oh, you'll fail." "That will never work." "The second you eat anything you've been ignoring, you'll gain it all back." I hear very little good for you, I bet that's good for your body, etc. I'm a little frustrated that so many people seem to know I am going to fail. That's different than the friends that are just worried that this is too extreme. It's the people that expect me to fail. I've always been the fat girl; I will always be the fat girl.

And, apparently this blog is my form of therapy during this whole process. Because, here's the thing. Will I eat pizza again? Heck, yes. Will I eat pasta? Sure. Will I enjoy Olive Garden on the rare day? Yup. But, I want to change how I eat. I want to change how I think about food. I want to reach for an apple when I'm craving a sweet snack instead of chocolate. I want this to be about jumpstarting a lifestyle change. I have no plans to go back to my lots of fast food, lots of high fat, high carb ways. I want this to be the beginning of something new.

I always saw this as a jumpstart. A way to get my body used to eating. And a way to get through detox without cheating. This is not the end of my weightloss journey; it's only the beginning. I refuse to be one of those people who does this "crash" diet and then immediately gains everything back. I will have days where I eat a lot of calories and enjoy it. And then I will have days when I eat fruits and veggies and nuts and enjoy that.

I just want more people to believe in me. And less people to think I'm a failure before I've really begun. I guess that's why my friend didn't tell anyone what she was doing; she didn't want to deal with the naysayers.Sometimes I wish I would have kept my mouth shut, too!

Day 10: Achievement Unlocked & Looking Back

Ten pounds gone (almost 11). That feels good. Although I still feel overwhelmed because I have so far still to go. I am amazed at the fact that I've lost the equivalent of 40 sticks of butter and don't really feel all that different. I guess that's a commentary on how this is just 1/6 of the weight I want to lose!

Looking back on the last few days, here are some observations:

• I like variety in my food. 10 days in and I'm already wishing I had more options. Even more fruits and veggies would be okay - just something different! I know there are a lot more options if you like seafood, which I just don't. I have some tilapia and I can enjoy some crab, but I'm not forking out that kind of cash for the "real" crabmeat instead of the imitation stuff.
• The water at work tastes funny. When you have to drink as much water as I do, it's really obvious how nasty the water at work is. I either need to invest in bottled water for the office (which seems like that could get pricey fast) or maybe one of those water bottles that filters. I wonder if those work?
• Detox is NO fun. I felt like crap for days. Seriously. I'm still not feeling 100%, but I'm feeling a little better. I went through cramping, aching, headaches, no energy yuckiness for way too long. It was exhasting to me and almost made me throw the towel in.
• There was part of me that was ashamed to be trying this diet, or afraid to share with people that I was doing it. Once I told more people, it didn't feel like a secret that had to be kept. I am so grateful for loving, kind, encouraging people in my life.
• Take your vitamin in the morning. It makes a difference.
• I need more variety in my foods and drinks. Okay, I know I already said that, but looking at thirty more days of eating like this...that's going to be an S-T-R-U-G-G-L-E.
• I'm still a little worried about the nutrients (or lack there of) I am getting. Especially calcium.
• The fat girl inside me still really wants snacks and cookies and diet coke.

Dieting is a hard, annoying journey. So is being unhealthy. I have missed food less than I thought I would, although I feel like I'm having more cravings now that I don't feel bad. Now that I'm feeling a little better, I want a PB&J and some milk. I made it 16 days on South Beach before I wanted to kill people. I'm hoping to make it through this whole protocol. We will see, though!

Day 9: Today is a New Day

I know I've said this a couple times, but yesterday was hard. I think, because I am getting more comfortable with the regular parts of the diet (even though I'm still hungry), I found myself wanting to slip back into some unhealthy snacking routines. There were a couple successes, though! I had a meeting last night where there are always yummy, yummy snacks. And, even though the M&Ms smelled amazing and the chips and salsa looked to-die-for, I resisted. And I was proud of myself for doing so! Victory number one.

Victory number two was in the way of relationships. I had great conversations yesterday with my friends David and Pam. Pam is who I learned of this diet from; she's lost a lot of weight and looks even more amazing than she already did. She's beautiful, inside and out, and she believes in me! David is an amazing example of doing things the right way. He's also lost a crazy amount of weight, and has maintained it for years now. He looks great, feels great and is a great support system for me. Both of them gave me encouragement yesterday when I needed it the most. I am so thankful for good, lovely people in my life.

Yesterday's big failure came in the form of dinner. My hamburger was a little over cooked and my cucumbers on the grill idea didn't work out at all. BLECH! So, I ate my burger, tossed the cucumbers, and went to my meeting. I had strawberries as a late night snack.

All in all it's been fine, but I'm still hungry a lot and still tired and have headaches. This morning I woke up around 5 with a migraine - ugh. I decided to try and take my multi-vitamin in the morning. Maybe that will help with the energy.

It's been a week since I had a diet coke. That's the longest I've gone in a long time. Today was all about will-power as I drove by both the Circle K and the McDonald's on my way to work. Surely one won't derail right? But I'm going to hold out. I did discover this morning that I think I can have Iced Tea. I sure hope that's right. That would make such a difference in my being sick of water and getting a little caffeine in my body!

I was really hoping today would be the day I could say I lost 10 lbs. But, I am .2 away still. GRRR. Hopefully tomorrow will by my things that weight 10 lbs post - it's always amazing to think that's what I've been carrying around on me just because I'm too lazy sometimes to eat properly.

Day 8: A Little Cheat, A Little Guilt

Yesterday was one of the hardest days on the diet yet. I don't really know why. I was tired. I was sitting at my desk all day. I wanted something fun to eat. I didn't want to sit and eat another veggie, another fruit, another...ugh.

So, yes, I cheated a little. I had a piece of candy. I ate mustard on the hamburger I had for dinner. And yes, I feel a little guilty about it. But my sweet friend Liz helped put it in perspective for me this morning. She said, "if you feel badly about spilling a little milk, you don't just dump the gallon on the floor." Before, for me, cheating a little meant the whole day, maybe even the whole week was ruined. I convinced myself I couldn't do it, that I would fail, that I was a failure.

Liz helped remind me that I'm not. No, cheating isn't ideal. But it's okay. It happens. What matters is how I react to the cheating. I can either freak out, consider everything I've done a loss and be angry. Or, I can just admit it happened, be okay with it and move forward. For the first time in my life-long battle with food I am learning to move on.

Yesterday I also read a lot of studies and concerns about this diet. I managed to freak myself out a little bit. Tim and I talked through a lot last night and I've decided that I'm going to stick with it, at least for now. I am going to up my calories a little, though. Because I'm still feeling gross, lightheaded and a little weak. I'm not going to add extra calories with "bad" food, though. Right now I'm planning on adding an extra serving of fruit. Because at some point I have to be able to eat more than 500 calories and not make myself sick or immediately gain all the weight back.

Day 7: Another Monday

Sorry for the grumpy post yesterday. I was feeling very sorry for myself and wanted to have a bit of a pity party, apparently. I also get emotional when I don't feel well, so that, added to the diet frustrations, didn't make for a good day.

I'm determined to make today better. I'm still not feeling great. I'm wondering if it is my body detoxing, but I thought I would feel better after that happened, not worse. Interesting. Or, I could just be fighting some random sickness. Who knows. I also started taking a daily vitamin again. I don't know if that affects things or not.

Goals for today:

• Drink at least 6 of my Tervis tumblers (the big one) of water. I am SICK of water already. I know it's fine and healthy, but it's BORING!!
• Stay on protocol (I haven't cheated yet, even though I have sooooo wanted to)
• Survive my first group experience tonight. We have small group, and I'm sure it will be great. I just don't want to be tempted with foods (even though there probably won't be much there)
• Go to bed early and catch up on my rest
• Have a better, more positive attitude about this experience.

Food today:
Breakfast: Drops, 1 full Tervis of water, Coffee
Lunch: Drops, 1 full Tervis of water, remainder of soup mixture I've had the last two days, Melba
Dinner: Drops, 100g lean steak, 1/2 cup strawberries, 1 cup cucumber, Melba

In the first 5 days of tracking my weight, I've lost 7.8 lbs. I'm impressed with that number, but still wish it were more. I also realize that it's about a pound a day, which is what the protocol said would be likely. I have some goals for myself, though. Losing another 8 lbs will put me at my first milestone. Hopefully, with this weight loss continuing, that will happen sometime next week!