Sunday, January 20, 2013

Day 13: When I am thinner

(another low weight loss today. Frustrating, but I know mentally I haven't been as committed to the process as I should be the last few days. I'm still not cheating, but I'm just not into it. I'm not interested in eating, just kind of blah. So, a pep talk from Pam and an internal evaluation that I either have to be committed to the process or not and I'm back today).

Instead of another boring, blog summary of what I've ate and what I've lost, i thought I would do a fun list of 10 things I'd like to do when I'm thinner. I will not say skinny, because I don't know that skinny and I will ever really co-exist. But, I will be thinner and healthier!

1. Ride a Zip Line

I've always wanted to do it, even though it terrifies me. But, I've always convinced myself that I'm too heavy and would be to embarrassed to do it.

2. Buy Skinny Jeans

 I love the skinny jeans and boots look, but my chunky legs can't pull it off right now. In fact, I would love to buy clothes that fit my body. Right now everything runs that fine line between baggy and not to baggy. I know how important it to wear clothes that fit, but I also want to hide behind them still. I'm not now, nor will I ever be, a style maven, but I would like to have a little more style than i do now. That will only come when I enjoy shopping and find clothes that fit me better.

I'd also like to buy cute clothes from stores I don't currently shop in because they don't have my size!

3. Run a 5K

 I've walked plenty of 5Ks. I would love to be able to run (okay, jog) one. I am not in shape. I know that's different than losing weight, but I truly believe it will be easier when I'm not carrying around so much extra weight. I feel like that's a reasonable goal.I don't want to run a half marathon or a marathon. There are other ways I enjoy exercising. But I would like to check it off my accomplishment list.

4. Audition More.

 I love, love, love being on stage. I love everything about being an actress. I also feel like my body shape is the first thing people see about me. I don't fit the typical mold of many of the characters that I audition (or would audition) for. I want to not let my weight control my passion for the stage anymore. While I know being skinnier won't necessarily make me get more parts, it will make me more confident as an actress. I don't pretend to be some amazing addition to the Bloomington theater, but I can hold my own. And it's my expression and I love it. I am tired of the first impression being my weight.

5. Hike, Bike and be Outside More

 I really enjoy nature. I want to be able to hike and bike and just be outside without being winded, tired and out of shape. I want to enjoy everything the world has to offer without carrying around a ton of extra weight.

6. Get cute family photos taken

 Tim and I have had no photos taken professionally since we were married. No, I am not skinny at all in them, but they were beautiful pictures. I have avoided pictures of us since then because I am ashamed of myself. I want to get pictures taken this fall where I am happy and confident in myself!

7. Go to Harry Potter World

 My friend Liz and I made a pact that when we both lost 50 lbs, we would go to Harry Potter World together. I know she's already been once, but I'm confident she'd go again with me. She is one of my few friends who understands the struggles, ups and downs, of weight loss and celebrating that kind of milestone together would be awesome!

8. Take a Dance Class

 I have two left feet. That being said, I would really, really, really love to learn how to tap. I took classes when I was younger, but I've forgotten most of it. I think it would be great exercise, and great fun.

9. Swim with Dolphins

 Tim has long promised me that when I hit my goal weight, I can swim with dolphins. It's on the top of my bucket list and a life-long dream I have had. I cannot wait to get my picture taken in that water with those adorable dolphins!

10. Maintain a healthy lifestyle and never go back.

 My entire life I have fought this battle. I want this journey, no matter how long it takes, to be the last time I do this. I want the healthy choices I'm making, choosing to eat the right foods, etc to be a life-long change in me. While I'm doing this program and getting fast results, I know I can't stay on it for long. And that's fine. I want this to be the jump start to a great, healthy, long life!